there will NEVER be an end to ANTM

My last blog I made a mention of reality television…and it ruling my life. Well how can it not!! Especially when you find virtually nothing but on tv. I have no shame in admitting I am an America’s Next Top Model fan...and I mean a---fan…I can recall the winners of every cycle…situations…girls eliminated….yadia, yadia, ia.

Twice, Yahoo published articles on their site this past week stating America’s Next Top Model is past its prime…and needs to be cancelled…CANCELLED?! Unfortunately they didn’t have a comment section for me to voice my opinion about said article…but fortunately I do have this blog.

Yes, Tyra started this past Cycle (11) with some weird futuristic idea, and yes, it got even weirder when Tyra dressed up as the witch of the North? Or maybe it was the good witch in the mirror? I’m not really sure what she was going for…but she looked extraordinarily horrendous. It did get better with time…but yes, she did ruin any hopes of making a comeback of normality with her awfully eccentric attitude on the season finale…talking like a baby…and wearing tremendously bizarre shoulder pads. I guess you could say it tied in with the first episode. But really…overall, Tyra’s proved herself simply… as weird.1

Anyway…like I already said, I’m a huge fan of ANTM. A few years back…Cycle 8 to be exact; I was with some friends and flipping through one of those fabulously raunchy star magazines when I came across an advertisement of the new and pure female cast of ANTM. It was a stoner moment, but we decided to make a bet. You had to guess, by looking at the advertisement photo only (we numbered the girls…obviously we didn’t know their names)…who was going to be the crier, the bi-atch, the winner, the loser (first cut), and a number of other stereotypical attitudes or situations you’d find on the show. Well this game eventually evolved into what we now call Fantasy ANTM…much like fantasy football.

A quick run down…each week, we picked three girls/models to be on our team. We picked the girls who we thought would get us the most amounts of points…highest points going to the model who wins the challenge, negative points for the model that gets eliminated. It’s been great…there’s nothing wrong with some good ol’ fashion shit talkin amongst friends, especially when that brings us closer together.

But how can we keep this wonderfully new found game and adventure going if the show cancels???? What are we going to have to talk smack about next???? Even worse, a few close friends and I came up with a brilliant…BRILLIANT idea of entering a beautiful female friend of ours into the competition (she’s actually the only one out of our group that reaches the height requirement) without her knowledge or consent (she’ll thank us later…). Now let me tell you, this will be our entertainment for weeks. WEEKS!! We have a whole plan with plenty of trickery and debauchery. That’s a lot of entertainment to be had. And how are we to have that entertainment and hilarious amusement if ANTM gets cancelled??? It’s a thought I don’t even want to ponder.

This is my fight against the cancellation of ANTM. Someone needs to start it…and that someone is me! Yes, I may have said I watch too much reality television…or too much television in general…but this is beyond watching. This is an experience…an interactive experience at that. If more people were as involved, they would understand this feeling of loss and isolation.

So screw you Yahoo for taking away our hopes…dreams… memorable distraction…and pure amusement from our daily existence. I hope you’re happy. You may have single handedly destroyed lives AND ANTM!

1 I actually saw her talk show…once, just once. I hope it was her Halloween special, because she had human vampires on as her guests…who found sex disgusting, drank blood, could “read people’s minds,” and practiced sadomasochism with their children…overall it was just weird. I think Tyra is starting to take a wrong turn in life. Maybe she’s going through an early stage of menopause. Or maybe she just needs a man.